


God's Sorry

by hi_short_for_hello



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale is better with books than kids, Crowley has long hair, Crowley has loved Aziraphale since the beginning, Crowley is genderqueer, Crowley needs a hug, Crowley wasn't meant to fall, First Kiss, God feels bad about that, God is trying, Great parent Crowley, Kid Fic, M/M, Slow Burn, because I'm impatient and want them to get together, but he loves his child, effeminate Crowley, well kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 12:50:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19173634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_short_for_hello/pseuds/hi_short_for_hello
Summary: If anyone were to ask, it was a bad joke gone wrong that Crowley fell. She did not intend to Fell Crowley, only those around him, the problem with this is that the soon to be called demons grabbed hold whatever they could to stop The Fall. Sadly this included Crowley, you can not stop a Fall once it has begone. She couldn't stop him and The Fall stops all telepathic communication possible, being ripped from Her love and all, therefore She could not tell him that he had done nothing wrong and that he wasn't supposed to Fall. So when Crowley says that he Sauntered Vaguely Downward, he is not completely lying and yet it is not the full truth of the matter.





	God's Sorry

If anyone were to ask, it was a bad joke gone wrong that Crowley fell. She did not intend to Fell Crowley, only those around him, the problem with this is that the soon to be called demons grabbed hold whatever they could to stop The Fall. Sadly this included Crowley, and you can not stop a Fall once it has begun. She couldn't stop him and The Fall stops all telepathic communication possible, being ripped from Her love and all, therefore She could not tell him that he had done nothing wrong and that he wasn't supposed to Fall. So when Crowley says that he Sauntered Vaguely Downward, he is not  _completely_ lying and yet it is not the full truth of the matter. 

The problem with being God is that you don't have anyone that you can bounce ideas off of, sure you can  _make_ someone designed for this job but that defeats the purpose of this. God, not knowing how to help Her poor Crowley, one of Her favorites if She were to have any, made sure that he got certain  _perks_ the others did not, half of this is from the fact that he was not  _meant_ to Fall and also because of Her help. He kept his wings, most of his defining characteristics stayed the same, She wanted him to have his gorgeous hair and eyes. While She couldn't stop him from becoming an animal, She did make sure he got one he liked and that wasn't as gross as say flys or frogs. Most importantly though, She let him keep the ability to  _feel_ more than hate or rage. She hoped She could use the cute little Angel She was making the guard of the Gate of Eden as a way to send a message of apology to Her beloved Crowley, She had seen him making eyes at this particular Angel when he was still up here. Oh, She would miss Her curious and unique Crowley, he had been a breath of fresh air for the simpering and 'obey without question' kind of angels She had to deal with, Crowley had never been rude, he just wanted to  _know_ more and She loved that.

Now if God had anyone to bounce ideas off of, coincidently Crowley most likely would have been given that job had he not been Pulled Down, She would've been told that this was  _not_ the way you told a still confused and angry demon that he wasn't meant to fall. Crowley was still trying to make contact and She could have avoided this whole mess by just sending a note that only Crowley could read, alas She had wanted to make a gift of it, only complicating it in the process. The biggest mistake with this plan is that She forgot to deliver the message Aziraphale was supposed to deliver to Crowley.

* * *

Crowley, though right now it is Crawley, knew something was wrong when he first started to Fall. Partly because he could remember the solid ground as the others Fell, a hand around his leg, the ground giving way. Mostly he could remember thoughts not his own, a steady stream is only broken by his own inner screams and the realization that is was Her speaking to him.

_No, no, no, no, NO! Not him, oh, I didn't mean for you dear one, never you, no, no, no, no, no, You did not-_ , the voice of God replaced by deafening silence through the rest of the Fall. He realized quickly that while  _he_ still had his wings, others did not and that probably would get him killed. Quickly tucking his wings in, he had the sudden feeling of being compressed into a tube, or that is what he would come to describe it as. Seeing as there were no tubes yet. It all ended rather quickly, feeling more painful in that where there was once the warmth of Her love there was now burning sulfur pits and brimstone all around. It was around this time that he figured out that he was now a serpent, no longer an ambiguous mass of light with gold eyes and wings, but now he was a slithering snake. He rather liked snakes, he helped in making them, he thought an unhinging jaw would be funny and cool to see.

It was around this time that exactly what had just happened slipped into place, from what he had heard, and the fact that he even had wings still, it seemed that he wasn't even supposed to be down here but then, how do you  _accidentally Fell someone?_  

Later Crowley would say that God had sent him mixed messages but as that term had yet to be created, he settled on being highly confused for now.

* * *

_Aziraphale,_ She stated into this small Angels head, _you are to protect the Gate of Eden and here is a flaming sword for the job_ , before She promptly teleported the Angel to the Gate with the knowledge needed to work the new body he had, only the Basics seeing as God felt that you should always learn and knowing the Aziraphale was, like Her Crowley, highly curious in a more reserved way.

And so Her Plan, that had already gone askew, had started. This Plan would be the Ineffable Plan, as She had no words to describe it and knew that it would most likely change and She just wanted to see what would happen.

Now all that was left to do was wait, if popcorn had been invented yet, She would have metaphorically lent back to toss some in Her mouth as She watched Her Plan unfold.

* * *

 

Crowley had been sent Up to Eden because he would fit in there the best out of the rest, who all smelled of rot or were somehow deformed. He was highly bored but there was less to complain about up here than Down There, the sun was nice on his scales and there was the fact that the air was clean and there were less rotting demons around that would have bred him to disincorporation. All in all, Crowley was feeling rather pleased that he was assigned the task of causing chaos here than being stuck with the terrible company Downstairs. 

Another thing that he is enjoying up here is seeing Aziraphale, not that he would admit to that, it would get him in trouble. It was nice to see the Angel who was kind if a bit awkward to all the flora and fauna he came across while making sure nothing escaped into the barren wasteland that was Outside. Crowley liked to sunbathe while keeping an eye on the angel. 

When he first got wind of the fact that he would be punished if he didn't start on his job he knew it had to be good to make the Boss happy, what better way than by getting the humans in trouble? 

* * *

 

When he Tempted the girl into eating the Fruit of Knowledge and in turn get her to tempt the boy into doing the same, he did not expect God to throw them out. He thought She would get upset, maybe take away the humans favorite fruit for a little bit but, to  _throw them out_ seemed harsh. But then hadn't She thrown him out for asking too many questions?

The aftermath of the First Temptation had been long and slow, luckily he and Aziraphale had found a way to be as lazy at their jobs as possible and were mostly just enjoying the time they had to roam the Earth and learn. Of course, this did nothing but make the ache in Crowley's chest worse, the fact that he was on, not good but ok, terms with the Angel and yet rarely saw him  _hurt_ and Crowley was not quite sure why only that it hurt not to be near the angel and it was not the same kind of ache as the absence of God's Love caused. 

Almost 6,000 years past and the ache grew every time he saw Zira smile or laugh and then not see him for 50 odd years. He felt as if he couldn't breathe without the Angel, not that he needed to breathe but he was used to it so feeling like he couldn't do so was  _annoying._ It took the fire in Zira's shop to make him come to terms with the fact that the ache was  _love_ , repressed love that he had felt since Creation itself, it took losing his friend to realize how much he relied on the steady presence of his Angel and the return of said Angel to make him take a move for more.

* * *

"Zira?," Crowley asked at the celebration of 'The world didn't end' lunch they had at the Ritz, "Did She ever talk to you?" it was asked in such a small voice that Aziraphale's head snapped up to see the demon stirring his coffee absently. He thought for a moment before replying.

"She only ever talked to me personally once, when She stationed me as the Gate Guard but I have heard Her faintly before, no words just feelings of sadness directed at, well at you my dear, and anger at the few despicable people that She has seen. Why do you ask?" 

"When, when I Fell I  _heard_ Her, only She seemed, seemed upset at the fact  _I_ was Falling. I, I haven't been able to figure out why that was and why ever since there has been a strange amount of good things happening to me. First I am the only demon with wings or a non-deformed, well, form and the fact that I have only ever hit one person or that I have never run a red light, they are always green when I need them to be. Little things but after a while it becomes susspicious," Crowley admitted, the last part was hissed in a way that he hadn't hissed in years, a soft hesitant syllable lisped and dragged out on accident. Aziraphale found it cute. 

"Now that I think about it, She seemed particular that  _I_ guard the Gate even though I hadn't really done anything to warrant Her attention."

* * *

It is only now that God realizes that She did not deliver the message She meant to. So, for the first time in 6,000 years, She Speaks. Only not to Aziraphale but to call for one of the lower angels to leave a note in a place She knows the two will find it.

* * *

 

"Well I need wine if we are to go down this path of conversation," Crowley says as he stands up, having willed the check to them and paid. His outfit gained more than a few Looks, he had willed his hair to a little past his shoulders and had worn a pair of high heeled boots, making him look effeminate, more himself than Aziraphale thinks he's seen him since Noah's time when he wore the common female head covering. He loved that his Demon looked so comfortable and was content to stay silent on the way to his newly repaired shop, thank you, Adam, to slip into the backroom for the drinks that were sure to be needed. Only to screech loudly when he saw The Note lying innocently on the tartan couch. Crowley barreled into the room, tripping over his heels a little to see that his Angels fingers were shaking as he read a note of some sort.

"Angel? What's wrong," Crowley asked, it wasn't like Aziraphale to not notice he had come in, especially when he made so much noise. Aziraphale blinked at him dazedly before handing over the note while he slumped onto the sofa. Crowley sucked in an unneeded breath when he saw what was written on the note.

_My dears, I feel I must apologize, I set Aziraphale up at the gate hoping he would relay the message I forgot to tell him to deliver. My dear Crowley, the most inquisitive angel I had the pleasure to create, I feel I must now explain what must have eaten you up for over 6,000 years. I did not mean for you to Fall, you wouldn't have if some Fallen hadn't decided that you would keep him tethered to Heaven, and a Fall cannot be stopped, even if it drags an innocent into Hell with it, a Fallen must Fall. I didn't mean to hurt you, once I figured out what happened I tried to make things easier, knowing I couldn't stop or reverse it. I knew you had a connection with Aziraphale and meant from him to bring you this story but got so sad that I forgot to gove the story he was to tell. I do apologize, my dear, I know you hurt and I only made it worse, I had hoped that the 'End of the World, Not'  would bring the push that would nock to orbiting stars together to let me give one of my biggest blessings and yet it still hasn't happened. Honestly, you can't dance around each other and not together forever, I hope you like the gift_

_-God_

A choked sob reached Aziraphale's ears and he rushed to hug his demon, who completely broke down as he crumpled in Zira's arms. Aziraphale just hugged him tighter as he backed up until he pulled Crowley down into his lap, petting his hair to help calm him down.

"Zira, I, I wasn't even-" another sob broke the sentence as Crowley curled deeper into Zira's frame.

"Shhh, it'll be ok. Shh, my dear, just breathe. I believe in you, my dear," Zira said as he started to rock back and forth as he continued to pet Crowley's hair. Crowley suddenly thought about how God, of course, knew about his crush and if She was to be trusted, and She always was, then Zira felt the same way. Pulling away from Zira's shoulder he gripped Zira's face in his hands and slowly, oh so slowly, he leaned in for a kiss. It was slow but rough, full of raw feelings that had been left unsaid for more than 6,000 years and a love that had been there, under the surface of ever touch and gentle word said in that time.

"Zira," Crowley whispered as he pulled back, breathless and eyes closed. His sunglasses had been knocked off his face when he tripped his way into the room and when he opened his eyes Aziraphale gasped at the liquid gold and the dilated pupil, like that of a cat's he thought distantly as he took in the absolute beauty that is Crowley.

"You are beautiful, my dear" A whispered confession that would be made in the junction of the shoulder, the hip, the tender skin beneath Crowley's ear as Crowley trembled beneath him in the flat above the shop.

* * *

God smiled as She felt the conjoining of two of Her favorites. She readied the basket and the small child She had created, steadily taking on more of their parents as they slept peacefully, not ready for what would show up on their front stoop as soon as they woke up.

 

 

 


End file.
